Relationship is hard enough, and for some people – they have the unpleasant opportunities to get their hearts smashed into million pieces.

To these people,

REMEMBER the world and YOUR world are NOT going to end.

5. STOP the FEAR:  no matter how selfish it might sound – the first response of any human being after trauma is to worry about one’s future, one’s continuing existence in this world.  STOP the fear – whatever you are worrying about, your ex is also probably worrying about.  So there is no reason to worry. There are laws to protect you.  There are unspoken rules people obey.  There is if-you-do-this-to-me-I-will-do-this-to-you social contract.  There are mental institutions to deal with a mad ex.  ABSOLUTELY no reason to worry – your life is going to be OK.  Yes you lost things, but you also gain things.  You are a survivor – nothing in the future will hurt you more.

4. CUT OFF ALL TIES (if needed to):  sometimes, it is best to heal by simply cutting all ties to your ex.  Not just avoid the person, but also delete phone numbers, destroy everything he/she gave to you, or anything that reminds this person.  It may sound drastic, but for some people this is the only way they can get out of this alive.

3. TRY TO “BRAIN-WASH” yourself: people who really loved someone will remember every little detail about being together –  a piece of music, the sound of raindrops falling on the windows, a phrase, the smell of a particular kind of flower…  The first month after the terrible breakup, everything will play then replay in your head non-stop, sometimes driving you to madness – in your dreams, when you are awake.  So please replace these memories NOW.  Take action: enjoy that piece of music with a dear friend.  Scream into the rain. talking that phrase with a stranger. Put that flower next to the smelliest thing you can find… You need to live beyond your memory,

2. MAKE GOOD FRIENDS:  friends are friends – they are the ones you can talk to when you are in trouble: not just your problem but whatever distracts you.  The best moment is when you just chat anything with your friends and forget any trouble in the world.   SO make good friends – call them up once awhile. keep contact. they are the ones you can depend on when time is difficult.

1. TAKE ON A HOBBY: A hobby is exactly what it should be – something you like to do and something you do it just because.  This is an activity you can focus 100% and find it interesting. Running, writing, lifting, drawing, dancing…  This is your own time during which nothing can disturb you.  This is something you do then you feel good about yourself.

It may seem, feel, and be a HELL.  But have faith – everything is going to pass.  Nothing in the world is permanent – no matter how deep you were in love and how hurt you are now.  Time heals everything.  Don’t give up hope.  You have every reason to live beyond this.  Hold on there.

Always be there for you,

MFBC